CLEARING THE HURDLES
Beyond the uncertain times and wobbly economy, women are still shying from giving and from defining themselves as philanthropists.
The barriers to women’s giving have proven to be tough and tall. They haven’t changed all that much — or nearly enough — over the past decade.
I believe much of this stems from women’s attitudes toward money. We don’t like to own financial decisions. We’re often uncomfortable being in control of money. We frequently spend and save without any plan at all.
The emotional and psychological sides of money for women rate scant attention. Instead, the fuss and focus typically goes to the rules of personal finances, to investing and budgeting, to issues of asset allocation and growing the portfolio.
Sure, all that’s critical, but those topics still seem to occupy all the air in rooms about money. The emotional side gets lost. But money and means aren’t merely the paper stuff we use to buy and sell things. Money also represents emotions and values that we learn from our families, our bosses, the culture and that we internalize. We all bring individual agendas, histories, fantasies, expectations and anxieties to our financial transactions.
Certainly, we’re a society in transition about male and female roles, yet many of the timeworn stereotypes still hold true in the financial arena. This doesn’t apply to all women and all men, of course, but generally speaking: Women take care. Men take charge.
We’re still living with stereotypes of male and female roles – men are the Tom Cruise or Matt Damon types who go off and have adventures and find treasure. For women, money is what keeps us safe. It’s the anchor and future that comes along with Prince Charming. Among other gender-based characteristics, men look at money as a spigot, something they can control and turn on and off. Women see money as a pool that is finite and can be used up, drained. That’s not altogether off base, because women do earn less than men throughout their lives. Women are in and out of the workforce taking care of children and relatives. So women have less income and less for retirement. In fact, two thirds of American adults who live below the poverty line are women — that’s two out of every three. Men do have more control over the faucet of money.
As women, we must therefore wrestle with the idea that money represents security and how we can find the will and the comfort level to use the money for the things that have meaning for us. Money is power.
And because that’s true, society is not kind to women with wealth. Society is uneasy when women take up the reins of power. Most of the time, images of women who wield money and power in media, in movies, on TV, are depicted as bitchy or indulgent, undeserving or just plain dumb. Of course, men with wealth, are viewed as smart, hardworking, attractive, accomplished and powerful, you know like Michael Bloomberg or Bill Gates. They’re players.
Women need to become players too.